Hustlemania… you mad, Scooby?

as seen in on the cover of Florida Times Union…

Professional skateboarder Clyde Singleton also works as a magazine columnist, video producer, contest emcee, spokesman and outspoken blogger - under his alter ego, Piff Huxtable.
photography by Jon M. Fletcher/Florida Times Union

by Matt Soergel
Clyde Singleton says that when he was young he did a lot of stupid stuff, and that doesn’t even count the time he cut his Afro into a flattop and dyed it blond.

He imitates his earlier self, adopting a high squeaky voice: “Run a car over my foot! See if it hurts!”

For the record, running a car over his foot didn’t hurt that much. But then Singleton has a reckless streak and a high tolerance for pain. That helps if you’re going to become a professional skateboarder, as he did when he left the Northside for California at age 17.

That helps if you’re going to be part of what would become MTV’s “Jackass” crew, pulling off stunts of questionable safety and taste.

And that helps if you’re going to run your mouth off making fun of the skateboard industry, making fun of some of its biggest stars, and making fun of yourself.

In the insular, image-conscious world of skateboarding, Singleton is something of a celebrity lightning rod - a magazine columnist, a blogger, a video producer, a contest emcee, a satirist, a spokesman, a personality, all brash and provocative.

So, in deliberately misspelled and slang-heavy articles, he writes about things such as “The Top 10 Worst Tricks in Skateboarding.” “Ten Ways to Ruin Your Skateboard Career.” “Ten Things You’ll Find in White People’s Houses” (cheese is one).

And if you’re, say, a male skateboarder who wears tight jeans - or even women’s jeans, as some stars have been known to do - then prepare to be needled mercilessly.

“Some people are embarrassing jackasses,” he says, giving a laugh. “But I can be one too.”

On the message boards, the offended rail against him: “A hater.” “Washed up.” “Abnoxious [sic].” Others get the joke: “You write articles that are fun, even if your opinions are wrong. Keep it up, man.”

Singleton has spent much of the past 17 years in California, the center of skateboarding culture. But he came home in November for the holidays and has stuck around. His mom runs three day-care centers, and his stepfather and brother have their own churches. He’s been away for half his life, and it’s kind of nice to be back doing the family thing.

Now he’s trying to figure out if he can stay in Jacksonville and still be relevant in the skateboarding world. In the old days, some companies paid him just to wear their clothes or ride their boards. That source of income has dried up. But he can still get free shoes and clothes and skateboards - it’s all part of the business.

His days of competing are over but, for now, he’s still able to cobble together a living simply being Clyde Singleton.

“Sometimes I wonder if it’s ever going to end,” he says. “But hey, enjoy it for the moment. The moment might last forever.”

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